History - phase four - 40's - 2

After a very stressful year and a half with my oldest daughter, trying to get her settled in the area with her 3 beautiful children and failing miserably with it, life began to settle down for me. I had little energy and still hadn't figured out my homelife yet. My home was a mess. My yard was a mess. I was a mess. The times I felt the best was when my children were around me. I was spending a lot of time on my computer which looks like I'm still doing. My home which I had been living in for eight years still didn't look like I had really moved into it. I was depressed a lot but going to church and feeling more encouraged each time I went. Then one day I got a call and had to meet my second oldest child at the emergency room. The result was that she had terminal brain cancer, stage four GBM. My husband and I decided she should move in with us and it was convenient since her apartment lease was up anyway. So we turned our house upside down to make room for her. We finally took the upstairs rooms which had been used only for storage since the kids moved out, and she got the downstairs bedroom to share with her son. I spent several weeks living between home and the hospital. The hospital, state of the art facility, was 40 minutes away so I spent many nights there. She had awake, open brain surgery. I'm writing another piece on that whole experience. Through all this she was full of faith and courage and joy. So full infact that she touched everyone who came in contact with her in a life-changing way. The experience of going through this with her also changed me. When I have finished writing about this experience I just may post a link to this blog so you can also read it and be filled with courage, faith and hope. She was given a year to live. This was at the end of 2008 to beginning of 2009. Today she is free from tumors and living life. Glory to God. Her ex-boyfriend whom she had a child with took her to court during the time of her surgery to take the baby from her. His complaint was that she was an unfit mother because she had brain cancer. His real unspoken reason being that he was mad at her for leaving him. He actually thought that he would get her back in this way. Twisted. I believe that going through this was much more difficult than the surgery and cancer. The judge ruled that they should share the baby. She was full time working while going through chemo and radiation, had always provided her own home and car. He had no job, lived with his parents and had no apparant disease or obstruction. I still don't understand why she had to prove herself capable of caring for a child and he didn't. Twisted again. I did sink into more depression as a result of the court case and outcome. But we read the Bible together and spoke faith and hope to each other daily. At this time. It is a year and 4 months since she went to the emergency room and she is doing great. She was able to participate in a clinical trial which she will remain on for the rest of her life. The medicine is given like chemo, into a port, every two weeks. It had stopped the growth of new tumors and decreased the ones which had appeared during chemo and radiation to the point that now there are no signs of tumors at all. She is happy and working hard and taking care of her now 2 year-old when he is here. My life has settled down into a routine. My goal is to have a routine which is more productive. To overcome depression and get excited about my life, my family and my home. To be the best that I can be within the abundant Grace God has given me. Who knows, only God, perhaps I will grow to actually be a blessing to more than just my own. I am 50 now. My mother said when I first told her about my daughters diagnosis, "God seems to always give you such difficult things to deal with, your life has been one thing after another." I can only bless the name of My God, who has brought me here to this day where I am in so much need for Him that I can hardly think about anything else.